Fear of Failure

December 14th

This week was scary to say the least. While I have complete confidence in my play, I still was very fearful in turning it in. Everyone likes to believe that judgement, criticism, and rejection don't impact them, but in reality those are very difficult things to deal with. My process and project were not scientific or fact based. They both stemmed from my own brain and creativity. It is not just somebody judging my academic process and research, but my words, which are the things I cherish most. On top of that, I feel as though my last six years have built up to this moment along with my college auditions. All the shows that I have done, all of the plays I have read, all of the roles I have played have culminated into this project and this year altogether. So this idea of sending in my work for critique is scary as it reflects the process of sending in my college auditions and portfolios. It reflects the fact that I will be receiving rejection letters and notes and I will be dealing with the fact that my work is not for everyone. That is a tough pill to swallow in that I am a people pleaser and in that I put so much time and effort and creativity into my work.